It still feels so surreal to see my name on my resignation letter. 'Cos at my current workplace, I had actually envisioned being here until I am married with kids.
But recent happenings have made me decide otherwise.
It has affected me till the point that my loved ones are being affected by it too.
I was so stressed that I had insomnia, became an emotional eater, easily worked up and lost my temper often.
I became like that 'cos I felt so victimised at work. I felt like I was treated unfairly and judged constantly. It does not help when I feel so worthless eventhough I know what I do is the best that I can and that no one might be able to do as best as I did.
Yes, it does feel like being in an abusive relationship. But apart from the emotions intertwine in this relationship, it includes the fact that I felt so dependent on my job for the money. Simply, I kinda developed Stockholm Syndrome.
It was only after I confided with a few friends and also my family when I decided to get my act together and find a new job.
My motivation?
My wedding.
With my planned wedding date looming nearer and minimal savings to speak of, I am subconsciously panicking as each months passes.
Also, with my house in the making, that is also one other huge factor which finally made me decide that a new job with more benefits and a better salary would be the best solution.
It was not easy trying to find a job while still doing my current job with my bazillion tasks, but I managed to send out resumes to quite a couple of companies through JobStreet, JobCentral and Careers@GOV portal.
Alhamdulillah, I did get some response, however, the clinch deal was when I got recommended by future sis-in-law to try out at her company.
I got myself an interview slot, got interviewed (in which I was #FiftyShadesofGreenwithNervousness, 'cos the last time I was in an interview was 4 years ago.) and was convinced I had lost the opportunity to get this job!
But after 2 weeks of nerve-wrecking wait, I got THE CALL!
I was so happy that I just went and did sujud syukur!
What made me so happy was of the benefits which I sorely needed. The pay was not as much as I had expected but it was better, much better than what I am getting currently, so all in all, it is a blessing. ;)
So yes, with the signing of the Letter of Employment, I tendered.
I knew it would be a shock amongst my colleagues 'cos all of them thought that I was okay and that I would stay in this job forever and ever - NOT! Also 'cos they know that with me going, it would be a bigger headache to complete all my tasks. So, like I have said to myself a few times, 'Do not worry about your tasks anymore. It is not your problem anymore. You have done your part and so, it is your right to leave.'
Insha Allah this new job will bring more blessings and less headache, ameen!
But recent happenings have made me decide otherwise.
It has affected me till the point that my loved ones are being affected by it too.
I was so stressed that I had insomnia, became an emotional eater, easily worked up and lost my temper often.
I became like that 'cos I felt so victimised at work. I felt like I was treated unfairly and judged constantly. It does not help when I feel so worthless eventhough I know what I do is the best that I can and that no one might be able to do as best as I did.
Yes, it does feel like being in an abusive relationship. But apart from the emotions intertwine in this relationship, it includes the fact that I felt so dependent on my job for the money. Simply, I kinda developed Stockholm Syndrome.
It was only after I confided with a few friends and also my family when I decided to get my act together and find a new job.
My motivation?
My wedding.
With my planned wedding date looming nearer and minimal savings to speak of, I am subconsciously panicking as each months passes.
Also, with my house in the making, that is also one other huge factor which finally made me decide that a new job with more benefits and a better salary would be the best solution.
It was not easy trying to find a job while still doing my current job with my bazillion tasks, but I managed to send out resumes to quite a couple of companies through JobStreet, JobCentral and Careers@GOV portal.
Alhamdulillah, I did get some response, however, the clinch deal was when I got recommended by future sis-in-law to try out at her company.
I got myself an interview slot, got interviewed (in which I was #FiftyShadesofGreenwithNervousness, 'cos the last time I was in an interview was 4 years ago.) and was convinced I had lost the opportunity to get this job!
But after 2 weeks of nerve-wrecking wait, I got THE CALL!
I was so happy that I just went and did sujud syukur!
What made me so happy was of the benefits which I sorely needed. The pay was not as much as I had expected but it was better, much better than what I am getting currently, so all in all, it is a blessing. ;)
So yes, with the signing of the Letter of Employment, I tendered.
I knew it would be a shock amongst my colleagues 'cos all of them thought that I was okay and that I would stay in this job forever and ever - NOT! Also 'cos they know that with me going, it would be a bigger headache to complete all my tasks. So, like I have said to myself a few times, 'Do not worry about your tasks anymore. It is not your problem anymore. You have done your part and so, it is your right to leave.'
Insha Allah this new job will bring more blessings and less headache, ameen!
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