Life Goals

Dear bloggy,

It has been ages since I posted anything.

Simply because I am going through so much currently.

At work. Personal life.

It's like everything that can go wrong, goes wrong.

And the only thought I have in mind is that it is my fault.

Why? 

I have forgotten about Him.

I do pray, I do all the things that I thought I could do for Him.

But I think that my heart is just not into it. It is like I am going through the motions, the bare minimum and well, failing miserably.

I had just changed job, trying my best to adapt to the new job, new culture, and I was very sick. The sickest I had been since I started working. & then I was faced with one major challenge in my life. That challenge broke me. 

I tried my best. Really tried my best. But everything was just mentally draining and very stressful fo me. 

However, in those seeming darkest moments, I just had to sit myself down and ask myself seriously whether is this the path I should continue pursuing.

My plans when I changed job was simply to work here for the next 4-5 years, until after I get my house before I quit. During the period I am working, I would be saving for my wedding, my house and for my businesses. After life is more stable, I wanted to reach for my dreams. I wanted to pursue further studies in Early Childhood to empower me with knowledge in teaching my future children and also to strengthen my credentials for my business. My plans were to be a SAHW/M as I believe in having more free time to be the best housewife for my future husband. I wanted a life that is balanced between work/social and Akhirah lifestyle. I want that for my future family.

I want to see my family in Jannah.


But now, I am too stressed. With work.

And I don't think this job can work out for me anymore.

I had been having problems with my superior, with my SOP and I am too stressed and tired to keep holding on, Heck it. This is the only job where I stayed back so late without any OT.

So I am calling it quits.

The bosses have extended my probation and will give me a verdict, probably next week.

It's cool.

Really. 'Cos I have been given an offer.

And it's aligned with my plans above. Even more so, it actually will bring forward my plans earlier.

Just that, money-wise, it will be a constraint.

But Allah s.w.t. will guide me.

I know.


So here it is, my plans:

- Work in this new job.
- Get my qualifications.
- Expand on my delivery business.
- Start on two other businesses with my two friends (child-minding and muslimah clothing).
- Continuously saving money.
- Spend only on necessities.
- Continue with my passion of helping others in health through Muslim with Muscles - SG.
- Once my businesses are stable, to do them full-time.
- Assist my future husband to achieve his dreams too.


Insha Allah, things will become better. Allah s.w.t. has promised so.

Yes, my darkest times for now is over, but there will be more.

So for those who are also in a similar situation, it's probably time to sit down and ask yourself whether is this where we should continue to be, or isit time to make a change?

Only you can answer that.

Starting on Something New!

It still feels so surreal to see my name on my resignation letter. 'Cos at my current workplace, I had actually envisioned being here until I am married with kids.

But recent happenings have made me decide otherwise.

It has affected me till the point that my loved ones are being affected by it too.

I was so stressed that I had insomnia, became an emotional eater, easily worked up and lost my temper often.

I became like that 'cos I felt so victimised at work. I felt like I was treated unfairly and judged constantly. It does not help when I feel so worthless eventhough I know what I do is the best that I can and that no one might be able to do as best as I did.

Yes, it does feel like being in an abusive relationship. But apart from the emotions intertwine in this relationship, it includes the fact that I felt so dependent on my job for the money. Simply, I kinda developed Stockholm Syndrome.

It was only after I confided with a few friends and also my family when I decided to get my act together and find a new job.

My motivation?

My wedding.

With my planned wedding date looming nearer and minimal savings to speak of, I am subconsciously panicking as each months passes.

Also, with my house in the making, that is also one other huge factor which finally made me decide that a new job with more benefits and a better salary would be the best solution.

It was not easy trying to find a job while still doing my current job with my bazillion tasks, but I managed to send out resumes to quite a couple of companies through JobStreet, JobCentral and Careers@GOV portal.

Alhamdulillah, I did get some response, however, the clinch deal was when I got recommended by future sis-in-law to try out at her company.

I got myself an interview slot, got interviewed (in which I was #FiftyShadesofGreenwithNervousness, 'cos the last time I was in an interview was 4 years ago.) and was convinced I had lost the opportunity to get this job!

But after 2 weeks of nerve-wrecking wait, I got THE CALL!

I was so happy that I just went and did sujud syukur!

What made me so happy was of the benefits which I sorely needed. The pay was not as much as I had expected but it was better, much better than what I am getting currently, so all in all, it is a blessing. ;)

So yes, with the signing of the Letter of Employment, I tendered.

I knew it would be a shock amongst my colleagues 'cos all of them thought that I was okay and that I would stay in this job forever and ever - NOT! Also 'cos they know that with me going, it would be a bigger headache to complete all my tasks. So, like I have said to myself a few times, 'Do not worry about your tasks anymore. It is not your problem anymore. You have done your part and so, it is your right to leave.'

Insha Allah this new job will bring more blessings and less headache, ameen!

A Dream Malay Wedding

Assalammualaikum to all, before I post up the next continuation of my wedding update, just wanted to share this video of my dream wedding.

When I was young, I was so into our Malay culture. Like I LOVE everything Malay.
& I had envisioned having this kind of traditional wedding with Malay dance lah, silat lah & even kuda kepang. But, with the ever-rising wedding and living costs in Singapore plus the fact that some of the Malay traditions are against Islam, the vision has been put to rest. Heh.

So, here I am sharing this video just to show to all how a royal Malay wedding used to be done.

Enjoy! ;)