Restarting Once Again

Dear bloggy,

I didn't realise how long I have not posted, and damn has it been ages... and a waste.. and I actually had several drafts which I didn't update and publish.. LOL!

There is a lot I could have posted but I didn't..

And it has been more than 2 years since I last posted..

So, updates are upcoming and it will be as brief and I won't check 'cos I am a procrastinator...

1. I am a Mrs now!
2. I am going to 2 years in a job that I love, albeit the numerous tasks I have are recently making me stressed.. (I will go more into detail later..)
3. I will be getting my hommmeee in about.. a month? =)))
4. My courier business is picking up so, Alhamdulillah!

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On 06/08/16, we solemnized our marriage and had the wedding reception in a humble affair at the MPH and void deck for my side, and at the multi-purpose hall for his side..

I was glad and grateful that our wedding went smoothly with the careful planning and allocating of tasks to reliable and responsible Maid-Of-Honour plus bridesmaids and Bestman with the groomsmen. I LOVE LOVE LOVE how my MOH, which is my close friend kept me updated and reassured that all is going smoothly, Alhamdulillah.. (Of course, she is OCD, so she has to make it as perfect as she can.. heh!) And really, my family were awesome.. they tirelessly helped me out and calmed me down when I was on the verge of becoming a bridezilla ('cos I was overthinking too much..)

So before anyone asked me which wedding vendors I engaged.. wait hor... it's coming!

1. Wedding Catering and Deco (full package inclusive of DJ): Cahaya Nanie Wedding Services (hers) and aisey.. i forgot the catering name, 'cos it's his SIL's uncle's company.. and Nizera Wedding Services (his deco)

2. Bridal: Sanggar Mustika Bridal (of course with Kak Andi, Abg Riyan and Sis Riya as my MUA on that day..)

Oh.. but, but.. I also engaged a freelance MUA, Sis Nurwaty Yazid for my nikah make-up as my wedding was over the weekend..

3. Henna: Personal Friend

4. Kompang: Akrab Kompang Services ('cos he insists that he only wants this, and also 'cos my SIL sponsored this. HEH)

5. Car: Rented from.. I dunnoe eh.. I only know it is there.. 'cos he decided on this.. =P)

6. Photography: Sanbyoshi, taken by Farnsharkieboy and Helmi Mokish (hmm.. 'cos its his own cuzzin and he works with the bridal, so... I was more than happy to engage the,.. 'cos to me lah, it's better when Bridal and Photographer have worked together so there would be lesser risks of miscommunication.. YougetwhatImean?

7. Wedding doorgifts: Butter cookies bought from Radha Exports (Order must be more than $1000 worth before they took my order..so you imagine lah the number of boxes I had left at the end of my majlis.. LOL) and sent direct to the MPH, 'cos I very the malas to put them at my place 'cos the MPH is opposite my home and need to cross the road to get to it... You know, more hassle for me??

Hmm.. Did I miss anything out? If I have, do beep me alright?

And.. now, some might ask, what about the dulang items. etc2!

1. Rings: Taka Jewellery (hers) and Meyson Jewellery (his)
2. Shoes: Laces by Nanie (hers) and shitIforgotthebrand for his.. but we bought it at a John Little Warehouse Sale
3. Clothes: Hana (hers) and Takashimaya (his)
4. Her Bag: Guess bag (bought by in-laws from Aus)
5. His Wallet and Belt: Bought separately

And I cannot remember the other item.. LOL.. but I had cakes, fruits, hamper.. (the usual add-on dulangs.. HEH)

Anyway, dulangs on my side was made by my MOH and bridesmaids and me, simple yet elegant.. =)) while his dulangs were made by SIL. =)

As you can see, my wedding was a collective effort, family and friends pitched in, which helped in reducing my costs, which I really appreciate, 'cos when I planned for this wedding, it would be to have a clean slate when we get married, ie: no loans, no money owed, etc.. and Alhamdulillah, I got my dream wedding and achieved my end goal..

For those thinking, what about my honeymoon?
I went for a well-deserved trip to Batam for 5 days. BATAM only? Well.. 'cos, I was only able to take those few days off as I was still studying.. Waiiit.. WHAT?

Studying?

Yeah.. I was.. so.. on to my next update:

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My new work.

I am a diploma certified Early Childhood Educator, aka Preschool Teacher. HEH!

So, remember about me quitting my job(s)? in previous posts?

Yeah.

I firstly quit my job as an admin assistant back in March 2015. Took up a job in MOHH as an admin executive for just 6 months before the stress of the work and some personal issue made me quit in Oct 2015.

I then took up the job offer as an infantcarer PLUS, the opportunity to take up Diploma in Early Childhood (Childcare).

So, it happened the whole of 2016 which, clashes with my wedding.. and 'cos I can't be absent with the reason I got married (LOL!) I just took a short honeymoon trip.. with the hopes of going for a further trip in the future.. (Which hasn't happened yet..)

And as of 2017, I was transferred and became the proud teacher of 11 5 year olds.

It was a struggle 'cos I am to grad in 2017 but I had to juggle with having my own class to teach.. but Alhamdulillah.. it is going good, I guess.. heh..

I will update more about work, when I have the time, ya..

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Next.. to the 3rd update..

We have gotten the email that our house is completed and we will be able to get the key by November 2017! WOOHOO!

So, well.. me and hubs are busy with... reno plans etc!

I will also further update about our reno journey alright.. heh..

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I know, most do not know about it, but me and bro started up a courier business back in 2013.. and currently it has finally picked up 'cos I managed to get one admin to handle all enquiries and jobs.. so Insha'Allah it will be registered soon with some major changes in the works..

Pray for me, ya.. I need it.. to stay balance.. =)

That is all, for now..

'cos I need to settle some major errands..

Till then,
Diana *twinkles signing out..

Life Goals

Dear bloggy,

It has been ages since I posted anything.

Simply because I am going through so much currently.

At work. Personal life.

It's like everything that can go wrong, goes wrong.

And the only thought I have in mind is that it is my fault.

Why? 

I have forgotten about Him.

I do pray, I do all the things that I thought I could do for Him.

But I think that my heart is just not into it. It is like I am going through the motions, the bare minimum and well, failing miserably.

I had just changed job, trying my best to adapt to the new job, new culture, and I was very sick. The sickest I had been since I started working. & then I was faced with one major challenge in my life. That challenge broke me. 

I tried my best. Really tried my best. But everything was just mentally draining and very stressful fo me. 

However, in those seeming darkest moments, I just had to sit myself down and ask myself seriously whether is this the path I should continue pursuing.

My plans when I changed job was simply to work here for the next 4-5 years, until after I get my house before I quit. During the period I am working, I would be saving for my wedding, my house and for my businesses. After life is more stable, I wanted to reach for my dreams. I wanted to pursue further studies in Early Childhood to empower me with knowledge in teaching my future children and also to strengthen my credentials for my business. My plans were to be a SAHW/M as I believe in having more free time to be the best housewife for my future husband. I wanted a life that is balanced between work/social and Akhirah lifestyle. I want that for my future family.

I want to see my family in Jannah.


But now, I am too stressed. With work.

And I don't think this job can work out for me anymore.

I had been having problems with my superior, with my SOP and I am too stressed and tired to keep holding on, Heck it. This is the only job where I stayed back so late without any OT.

So I am calling it quits.

The bosses have extended my probation and will give me a verdict, probably next week.

It's cool.

Really. 'Cos I have been given an offer.

And it's aligned with my plans above. Even more so, it actually will bring forward my plans earlier.

Just that, money-wise, it will be a constraint.

But Allah s.w.t. will guide me.

I know.


So here it is, my plans:

- Work in this new job.
- Get my qualifications.
- Expand on my delivery business.
- Start on two other businesses with my two friends (child-minding and muslimah clothing).
- Continuously saving money.
- Spend only on necessities.
- Continue with my passion of helping others in health through Muslim with Muscles - SG.
- Once my businesses are stable, to do them full-time.
- Assist my future husband to achieve his dreams too.


Insha Allah, things will become better. Allah s.w.t. has promised so.

Yes, my darkest times for now is over, but there will be more.

So for those who are also in a similar situation, it's probably time to sit down and ask yourself whether is this where we should continue to be, or isit time to make a change?

Only you can answer that.

Starting on Something New!

It still feels so surreal to see my name on my resignation letter. 'Cos at my current workplace, I had actually envisioned being here until I am married with kids.

But recent happenings have made me decide otherwise.

It has affected me till the point that my loved ones are being affected by it too.

I was so stressed that I had insomnia, became an emotional eater, easily worked up and lost my temper often.

I became like that 'cos I felt so victimised at work. I felt like I was treated unfairly and judged constantly. It does not help when I feel so worthless eventhough I know what I do is the best that I can and that no one might be able to do as best as I did.

Yes, it does feel like being in an abusive relationship. But apart from the emotions intertwine in this relationship, it includes the fact that I felt so dependent on my job for the money. Simply, I kinda developed Stockholm Syndrome.

It was only after I confided with a few friends and also my family when I decided to get my act together and find a new job.

My motivation?

My wedding.

With my planned wedding date looming nearer and minimal savings to speak of, I am subconsciously panicking as each months passes.

Also, with my house in the making, that is also one other huge factor which finally made me decide that a new job with more benefits and a better salary would be the best solution.

It was not easy trying to find a job while still doing my current job with my bazillion tasks, but I managed to send out resumes to quite a couple of companies through JobStreet, JobCentral and Careers@GOV portal.

Alhamdulillah, I did get some response, however, the clinch deal was when I got recommended by future sis-in-law to try out at her company.

I got myself an interview slot, got interviewed (in which I was #FiftyShadesofGreenwithNervousness, 'cos the last time I was in an interview was 4 years ago.) and was convinced I had lost the opportunity to get this job!

But after 2 weeks of nerve-wrecking wait, I got THE CALL!

I was so happy that I just went and did sujud syukur!

What made me so happy was of the benefits which I sorely needed. The pay was not as much as I had expected but it was better, much better than what I am getting currently, so all in all, it is a blessing. ;)

So yes, with the signing of the Letter of Employment, I tendered.

I knew it would be a shock amongst my colleagues 'cos all of them thought that I was okay and that I would stay in this job forever and ever - NOT! Also 'cos they know that with me going, it would be a bigger headache to complete all my tasks. So, like I have said to myself a few times, 'Do not worry about your tasks anymore. It is not your problem anymore. You have done your part and so, it is your right to leave.'

Insha Allah this new job will bring more blessings and less headache, ameen!

A Dream Malay Wedding

Assalammualaikum to all, before I post up the next continuation of my wedding update, just wanted to share this video of my dream wedding.

When I was young, I was so into our Malay culture. Like I LOVE everything Malay.
& I had envisioned having this kind of traditional wedding with Malay dance lah, silat lah & even kuda kepang. But, with the ever-rising wedding and living costs in Singapore plus the fact that some of the Malay traditions are against Islam, the vision has been put to rest. Heh.

So, here I am sharing this video just to show to all how a royal Malay wedding used to be done.

Enjoy! ;)

Favours in a Fix

As usual, the overly-dramatic me, is in a fix on what favours to give for the big day.

Some of the suggestions I have in my mind are:
- Face Towels
- Pulut Kuning
- Chocolate (Specifically, Cowhead's Le Chocolatier Brand, Coffee Cocoa Flavour or )
- Candy (Which is like, I have a few already in my mind.)
- Biscuits ( Specifically, Deka Wafer Roll, Choco Flavour)
- Hand-made Crayons or Candles
- Teabags
- Honey in Straws
(Will probably continue this list when I get more ideas.)

My parents (my mum especially) doesn't mind me giving anything, but she just said that she wants me to give something edible. It's what my late grandmother would have suggested and she is insinuating that I should follow this too.

For me, I just want something within my budget. Packaging-wise, I would not mind to do it myself. It lends the personal touch which I JUST LOVE TO DO! Heh.

So, insha Allah, the plans to survey these items will start end of this year or early next year 'cos I think there will still be ample time to do so. (Also 'cos I plan to buy during the festive seasons when the items are considerably cheaper. HEH.)

Oh ya, so what are other options I should check up on for wedding favours?

Do share in the comments!

Thank you! ;)

So.. What Next?

Assalammualaikum to all!

As shared in the last post, I will share on the process I went through to choose and confirm with my vendors.

Just to update, I have confirmed the following:
- Wedding Deco                               } Cahaya Nanie Wedding Services
- Catering                                          } Cahaya Nanie Wedding Services
- DJ & Entertainment                       } Asry Sound Production under Cahaya Nanie Wedding Services
- Bridal House                                  } Sanggar Mustika
- Photography                                   } Sanbyoshi

And that is essentially all the important things for the wedding all done!

Nyeheheh!

Just left with hantaran, wedding cards and favours, which will be done next year.

So back to how I chose my vendors, I have to say that Mr Google is my saviour.

Firstly I started by joining a bridal forum under CozyCot which I had googled up, followed by asking my married friends/cousins on their experience and suggestions, before, (again) I googled for reviews on the suggestions given and also stalking their IG or FB profiles/pages. I would then proceed to ask for a quote should I feel satisfied enough that the vendor is up to my preference.

I felt totally badass, especially for the stalking around, but I felt that it was necessary. 'Cos with all the nightmare stories that we read of; of couples being cheated on by their vendors and left with the aftermath of a disaster, it was better to be safe than sorry.

So yeaaahh... back to the story,

I received advice that for a wedding, it depends on the preference of the couple on which aspects they want more emphasise for and thus, spend more on that. For me, I emphasised on the food and bridal, 'cos I know my parents would want to focus on that and for the bridal, I believe that I deserve at least just one day to look the best I can. (And it has always been one of my wishes for my own wedding. ;)) Also, I did not choose to have a full wedding package as I believe that it is better to break down the tasks for the vendors so that if anything bad or unexpected ever happens, it is easier to find a replacement.

My first criteria for food (ie: catering) is that the food is good, and best if they provide deco as well.
A few of my choices are:
- Amani Weddings
- SMR Wedding Services
- Puteri Wedding Services

My ex-tutee for Amani Weddings is the niece of the boss. She keeps on insisting I take up their packages but, it is too above-my-budget. Furthermore, I was not really comfortable as their mak andam is a pak andam and although I can request for a lady, it will be extra charges incurred.

For SMR Wedding Services, their wedding deco just did not appeal to me, so, NEXT!

Lastly, Puteri Wedding Services, I LOVE their food! 'Cos well, my aunt took them up when she got married more than a decade ago and the food is still as AWESOME.

But, for all three vendors above, I know of their reputation and the price that goes with them, and well, with my intention to keep it as affordable as possible, I decided to just find other vendors. That is when my fiance' told me to check out Cahaya Nanie Wedding Services, Farah Diana Catering & Wedding Services or Nizera Weddings. This is 'cos, the family behind Nizera Weddings is his friend's family (which my fiance' did say he will engage them for the wedding, but no confirmation as yet.. HEH) and he knows them well, and.. the other two companies are also related to his friend, so, upon hearing that, I checked them out again on FB and fell in love with Cahaya Nanie.

What caught my eye was their fairytale princess carriage dais, so I checked out their prices (honestly, very affordable! =P) and the one feature which they shared on their posters which sealed the deal was this: 'Price is inclusive of 4 standing fans.'

And why do u think this was important to me?
'Cos my mum has a severe allergy. She can't get too sweaty or eat seafood such as prawns and also, cant eat chicken. So I either have to book a CC with air-con facilities or get alot of fans. & since, I am on the bid to save as much money as possible, so fans would have to make do. & I have noticed a couple of times how some majlis are grand and pretty, but lack ventilation or any fans, so for the comfort of my guests and especially, my mum, fans are a priority.

[So, for wedding deco vendors, do take note of this. Probably have to highlight whether you provide fans at a reasonable price or inclusive of the package. I bet many more are concerned about this, but probably overlook it. Heh.]

With Cahaya Nanie Wedding Services, alhamdulillah, many items are included in the Exclusive package for a very reasonable price. I got my deco, catering, room deco, pulut pahar, sireh dara, candy corner or wedding cake, 1 live station plus DJ! (& i personally like the DJ 'cos he is also fiance's friend and I ever heard him live and was impressed on how he kept the mood going on and interacted well with the family. ;))

**PSST! I have to break this post into two as it is SUPER-LONG! Look forward to the next post, guys! ;))

Rapid Developments

Assalammualaikum and hello peeps!

Yes, yes.. I know I have not been posting much. Simply 'cos things seem to be in such a whirlwind. Right from the moment when we decided to apply for the BTO flat.

E and me had thought to take it slow and steady since we had planned to get married in 2-3 years' time.
But well, things took a drastic turn.

Okay, okay. Let me start from the beginning, ya.

Our marriage preparations were supposedly to be just mere planning, surveying of vendors and of course the savings to pay for our wedding itself.

I first started by listing out the key aspects of a basic Malay/Muslim wedding. I had wanted to be as simple as possible (ie: solemnization, dinner, just one bridal outfit, combined wedding venue, dowry as accordance to shariah, no DJ, khatam Quran, minimal exchange of gifts), but, my parents had stated that as the eldest, I was the one to set the standard. *SIGHS*

We had several arguments but in the end I relented. I did so because when I calmed down, I had a self-reflection and reminded myself that I am left with just a few years with my family and after that I will be going on a new journey as a wife. And I know, I should cherish the time left with my family before that journey starts.

So, I told my parents, "Okay, I will compromise." & I planned for my wedding to fit the barest minimum of my parents' expectations without being too frivolous, and alhamdulillah, they agreed! =)

My parents' expectations are actually, not that bad (after all the INTENSE discussions we had prior to getting engaged) 'cos they know how stubborn I can be when I am dead set on something. And this something is VERY IMPORTANT! It's the beginning of a whole new journey for me, insha Allah!

Their expectations are:
- separate wedding venue
- minimum 3 bridal outfits
- minimum 5 gifts to be exchanged

& my parents let me decide on ALL my VENDORS! WOOHOO!

Anyway, this is my list according to my preference:
- Bridal (Make-Up, Henna & Outfit - I love Henna, so yes, I am including this in! & Outfit refers to the dress, shoes, hijab, accessories and bouquet too..)
- Catering & Decoration (I prefer a vendor that does both, this is to prevent any miscommunication between two separate vendors. Oh, if you peeps wonder about wedding cake, it falls under here.)
- Photographer (I do not have a videographer simply because I prefer not to have one. HEH!)
- Wedding Favours
- Hantaran (Gifts for Exchange)
- Wedding Card
- Entertainment (Be it DJ or Kompang or Tarian or anything else in between..)
- **Preparations for Family and Bridesmaid(s) (Ie: Cloths/Clothes for my family and bridesmaid(s) or corsages - This is totally optional 'cos some families insist on the bride/groom to provide this while some others do it out of their own preference. For me, this is still a point for me to discuss with E 'cos I tend to overthink on this as I always want to make others happy without thinking about myself. HEH.)

Hmm.. I think that should be about all..
Am I missing anything? If I do, then probably 'cos I don't find it important.

Do remember, for your wedding, follow what you want. Not what is expected of you by other people. Especially if it entails money that you do not have. Again, wedding is just for a day while a marriage is forever, insha Allah ameen. Better to prepare for your forever instead of your temporary. (If you still do not understand this, can always ask me. =P)

So, the drastic turn that happened was when I was surveying bridal vendors. Wanna know what happened? Wait for the next post. I will stop here now, 'cos I tend to drag out the post.

In the next post, I will share on my process of choosing and confirming the different vendors and probably a few tips or recommendations that I got in the process too.

Till then,

Wassalam.

Next, BTO?

Never had I expected for things to go so fast between me and E!

Alhamdulillah, we have managed to get a house at the place where we feel is the best location for the both of us. =)

It was something both of us didn't actually plan 'cos both of us actually just wanted to live over at E's place after marriage and once our finances are stable, then we would get a house. But the opportunity was too good not to be missed.

The location was the prime reason why I relented to actually apply. It will be at West Crest @ Bukit Batok, near Millennia Institute. I loved the location 'cos its near to both our parents' homes, still within walking distance of about 15 minutes to the nearest MRT station, very accessible to various amenities such as, polyclinic, mosque, food centres,expressways, gas station, etc!

When we applied, my parents weren't even aware about it as they had once tried talking to me about getting a house but I was adamant that I would not be buying a house anytime soon, so when I dropped the bomb that I had applied, my mum was happy (in her own weird way of being sarcastic to me... -_-). AHAHAH!

Me and E just had a short discussion about the house, like... What type of house do we NEED and whether our expenses is enough to pay for the house..

So, alhamdulillah, with whatever we had saved, and with guidance from E's brother and relatives and after I read through all that I need to know at HDB's website, we took the plunge.

It was a nerve-wrecking period of about a month to wait for the news, and yesterday we finally got it! =)

Now, comes the headache. To start saving for both house and wedding!

Reflections of 08.02.14

Waking up on 08.02.14, my only thoughts were:

"Please let today's plan run smoothly and please, let time pass us by fast!"

Why?

'Cos I was a nervous wreck and I was totally exhausted. Same for my family too. We had been up till 2am in the morning to finish cleaning up. And still, it was not completed.

Tip #1: NEVER EVER think that you can clean up the whole house (especially mine) at the last minute. 'Cos that is just a recipe for a DISASTER!

So, anyways, I just helped with what I could, while my family members finished up with whatever that is left. I still had one more dulang to do and alhamdulillah, my besties came over to my rescue! Heh!

Actually, they had come over to help me with the bunga rampai, but most importantly, they helped me to calm down when I know that inside me, I was ready to BURST!

*THANK YOU SYAZ AND FINA!! <3 <3 <3 YOU GUYS SOOO MUCH!*

PS: In the midst of all the cleaning, please remember to also check whether all the fans, lights, air-conditioner, everything is working in tip-top condition!

(Apologies to those who were affected by this.. Really sorry!!)

Tip #2: Always call your caterer and arrange for them to come at least an hour before the event starts.

Why? My caterer came late! They came after the guy's side had arrived. Alhamdulillah, they were able to set up outside the house whilst the event was going on.

Tip #3: Just relax, enjoy, take loads of photos, mingle around with guests! Do all these 'cos the event is only about 3 hours long, so as long as nothing majorly bad happens, do enjoy yourself! Time will fly past and the next thing you know, everyone has left and only your family is there with you to help you clean up.. HEH!

<3 <3 <3

So anyways, to satisfy those who were curious to see the photos of my engagement, below are just some of them! Didn't want to flood this post with all my photos.. Hee!

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The Magic Date: 08.02.2014

The Coveted Bling-bling!

With all the gifts arranged beautifully..

With both sides of the family arriving!

(PSST.. that is just one side of Erwin's family..)

Finally, the moment all ladies to be engaged are waiting for!

Erwin's Lady Cousins Only..

And Erwin's Adorable Aunts..

Besties: Syaz & Fina

Poly-Mates: Nazreen

Dearest Confidante: Hana!

Bestest, Oldest Friends EVER: Naq, Anum, Syim & Jann!

My two Oldest Friends, since 5 and 4 years old respectively: Syim & Nad!

Two New Besties!! Inah & Teetee (She is also my MUA!)

Of course, not forgetting my aunt who has been one of the biggest help to me!

She helped me with the planning and the doing of most of the gift trays!

Plus, her cake is OUT-OF-THIS-WORLD!

My dad's side's cousins. Come to think of it, all of them are my step-cousins.. HAHA!

The lady in the middle, my religious class teacher.. Who has been there for me also since I was young.. Pictured here is her sister and her mum!

And yes, my mum just loves being in the photo! ;)

Not forgetting, the one responsible for the gorgeous photos! SUFYYYY!

The talented photographer! =D

And last but not least, a family photo!

And with the ticking of time, may this new journey as an engaged couple brings us more understanding with each other, love, patience and happiness, insha Allah!

Heart to Heart Talk with E's Family

So on 11th February, E and I finally met up after nearly 3 weeks of not doing so due to our busy preparations for the engagement. As usual, I would go to E's house after work (as his house is very near to my workplace) to do my Maghrib prayers before going out after that.

I was just settling down with a cup of syrup drink and keropok when E's father called E to sit down with me and to listen to him for awhile.

E's father started by congratulating us for smooth delivery of the engagement ceremony (Alhamdulillah! =D) but then he reminded us that being engaged is not the key to freedom - as in, it does not mean that now we are engaged, me and E can go out as we please, to do things that are against the teachings of Islam, ie engage in intimacy of any kind and to spend unneccessarily.

He reminded us again that an engagement is the period where a couple will face alot of challenges. Things that were never an issue between a couple could blow up into huge proportions thus affecting the relationship. He advised that the best thing to do whenever facing any problems is to sit down and talk. Lay out the problem, make sure both parties understand the situation and discuss possible solutions. He also reminded that whatever problems we have, it is okay to actually approach him or E's mother for advice.

He advised again that the period of two years will just fly if we do not make full use of the time we have now to prepare for our marriage. With that being said, one can never be fully prepared for marriage, but we still need to put in effort. He advised us to save more, do not spend unnecessarily, meet up only when needed, go for more classes on how to prepare ourselves for marriage (not just Kursus Perkahwinan ok. Because preparing for a marriage cannot be summarised in a class that lasts for two days..) and to upgrade ourselves, if we are able to, to go further at work.

I find that all the advice given is apt and much-needed for any BTBs or couples 'cos sometimes, we just forget about all the little things that matter when preparing for a wedding and will only regret later in life.

However, one thing mentioned by E's parents that really struck a chord within me was that they wish to see us last until Jannah, insha Allah! :'))

To hear from my future parents-in-law on their prayers for us, gave me some relief and hope that no matter what happens after this, I know that at least I still have the support of our families, insha Allah ameen.

One thing is for sure, for the next two years, may Allah s.w.t grant me patience to undergo the coming challenges, ameen!

An Honest Advice

"Some may ask why ur wedding so budget while others may ask why spend so much. Whatever it is, just answer truthfully.

To me, if its budget, that's what I can afford and more savings towards the house & honeymoon.

If its grand, that's to treat my families and friends for they have sacrificed so much and raised me well for years..

Point is, never succumbed to external pressures or ever be worried on what ppl gona think or say. What matters is you're happy, for this life & hereafter."

                                                                                                                         - Bro Za'im Nuriman

A wise and honest advice from my 2nd cousin. I do get tired from hearing others comment about a particular wedding - how GRAND it is or how cheapskate it is, but I feel sad for these people, (not the married couple) but those who comment. These people are the reason why most couples have to suffer, 'cos most parents are directly/indirectly influenced by these people. They might tell you, "You should spend within your own means.." but 5 mins later would be saying, "You know, that person's wedding was SO GRAND! It must cost about 30k. The food choices are MANY and VERY DELICIOUS!". 

-_- Contradicting much, right? :/

One thing I know for sure, for myself, I do not want to get into any major debts because of my wedding. I want a wedding that is blessed even for its simplicity. Best as possible, is to be moderate in spending 'cos I know, a wedding is just for one/two days, whereas a marriage is for a lifetime. And if a new journey as a married couple begins on a bad note of huge debts and financial problems, it would take alot of effort to keep that marriage going.

Anyways, before deciding to splurge, do take note whether are the things you wanna splurge on, isit essential? Are there any other alternatives with similar or better results? And also, plan early. At least, if anything unexpected happens, you can always find a replacement.

Hopefully I manage to send this message across to you BTBs, 'cos I wish the best for you in your marriage, the way that I want my own marriage to be, insha Allah ameen.. 

  

08.02.2014

IT'S OFFICIAL!

WE ARE FINALLY ENGAGED
ON 08.02.2014

More photos will be uploaded and there will be a recap for the event!

Stay tuned and assalammualaikum peeps!

=)

The Price of Marriage || Short Film || ثمن الزواج

Assalammualaikum and goodmorning peeps!

Just sharing with you a video that might leave an impact on us; especially since we might be going through the same exact thing as the man or even the lady. You might have seen this video on FB since it has been popping up on my newsfeed several times already, but well, I just wanna share to those who have not seen this!

Spare just 7 minutes to watch this video and reflect on it!

You know, after watching this, I kept on wondering whether did I bring inconvenience to E? My family and I did noy put a price for the dowry; E was the one who decided on it but I was worried that he chose the amount 'cos he thinks that the amount is what my family is expecting of him. I did ask E again yesterday, and he said that he chose it with sincerity, not because of any other reasons and he mentioned also, that money can always be earned, so I do not need to worry about all this. PHEW!

Alhamdulillah. =)

I do hope that whatever you guys are facing, just remember that the most important thing about marriage is not the wedding, but the marriage life. Look far into the future to decide your next course of action instead of just thinking of that one day. Yes, literally, just one day of happiness. And I SOO hope that parents would understand the situation that we, the youths, are facing now, instead of just following our desires. Wallahu'alam.

Anyways, I hope to post more in the near future!

Been soo bzzzz bzzzz busssyyy with all the preparations!

Alright, take care peeps! ;)

SURPRISE!

Saaaay...

Was it ever mentioned that I had kept the engagement a secret from families (extended) and friends?

HEE!

Yes! I had managed to hush up all the news regarding this engagement except for a select few who helped me for the 'merisik'..

Below is a pixelated copy of the invitation sent out to my closest friends on 1st January 2014! (Two were informed earlier, 'cos I met up with them! Hee.. You guys know who you are! *winks*) A simple invitation using AWESOME Android Mobile Apps: Instext and PicsArt!

To those who have been invited, I hope that you could grace the occasion and share my happiness on this day. For those who have not, it does not mean that you all are not in my mind.. All of my friends are, but, since it is a fairly small engagement ceremony, I have to take into consideration for my family too..

I hope that you all understand my position and that no misunderstanding would occur, instead, do shower us with prayers, ameen!

*twinklez*

1st Step: Merisik, DONE!

Apologies for the delayed update, peeps!

 Had been busy with the merisik event, work, outings with friends and loved ones, upcoming holiday and preparations to update just one post. (PHEW! That is alot of things I have on my checklist.. :P)

Anyways, wondering about the photo above?

 That is a tanda merisik.

It is a gift given by the future groom side, to the future bride side, to denote that the lady has been asked for their hand in marriage. As informed by my parents, it could be a gift like the above, or even a ring! I was not even aware about this tradition as no one briefed me earlier when I had discussions with my mum or my cousin. But it is okay, at least, my parents were not expecting an actual ring! ;)

Back to the story,

I still had work on Saturday, so after work I rushed home to do what I had listed in the checklist before. As I was helping out with my mum and siblings at the kitchen, I asked the BONUS question (eitherwise known as SOALAN CEPUMAS!), " So, what am I supposed to do during the discussions? Am I supposed to help out? Hide out in the room? (which is the most common answer I get...) Can I sleep while waiting? (Perangai tak senonoh sungguh! =P)

And my mum answered,"Eh, you cannot sleep! What if the future groom side wants to slip a ring on your finger?"

My reaction: Eyes opened wide, mouth in the shape of an 'O' and if my life is in a comic strip, alarm bells with question marks and exclamation marks would have decorated all around my head.

I was really surprised. And my reaction: I just answered, "Oh, it's okay. I did'nt ask for a ring."

"WAH! Pelokek (Stingy!),"  mum replied nonchalantly.

Then, hell broke loose.

I was hurt 'cos I took it to heart about the comment she made about E. I still get defensive whenever my mum makes those kind of 'sarcastic' comments about us and sometimes, I really wonder whether the kind of treatment I got is especially just for me, or it is just my mum.

Anyways, I threw a tantrum, with my mum and then my dad, and I guess my mum is still reeling from shock. I know I am partly wrong, and I did apologise, but I am still alil bit sore about it.

(HAIZ. Story of my life.)

To cut the story short, I had to make sure everything is okay before the future groom side comes over. But once they came, I panicked. I guess, it is just me. From E's side, his parents, brother and family, Pak Ngah, Mak Ngah and grandmother came. Seeing my panicked expression, all my siblings pitched in and helped out with the preparation of the drinks and food (my mum cooked laksa! YUMMY!). I only helped out to serve the drinks before being shooed out to my room to wait until all the discussions are over. I still dunnoe why the routine happens that way, but like my cousin said, "It's good, what.. Can rest! Hee." But all the while, I was wondering whhheenn it would end, so I can find out all the JUICY details about the engagement. While hiding out in my room, I could hear my father chatting, E's parents laughing, but I couldn't see anything. I just enjoyed watching Dira, E's niece, playing with my siblings. And that is all.


Once I heard that all the details have been confirmed and everyone was moving out, I exited my room and started to 'salam' the guests - and got another shock when I saw my aunts and uncle also present! :) Alhamdulillah! I felt really grateful to have them present too, 'cos their presence was really assuring. After that, we had a short discussion, sharing of tips and of course, cleaning up. (Which I did. 'cos now it is my turn. =P)

So anyways, that is my experience of 'merisik'. I know it differs from person to person, so do you have anything interesting to share?
 Leave a comment on the tagboard~
For those who wanna know about the details of the engagement, stay tuned for the next post! ;)

It's His Birthday! (& Our 'Merisik' Day)

Today is THE DAY!

The day in which E's Family would come down to discuss on the upcoming engagement (otherwise known as merisik.)

Coincidentally, it is also E's Birthday!

Yes. It is E's Birthday and our Merisik Day. He planned it that way, 'cos the engagement would be early next year, so merisik has to be done asap. And, he said that our engagement is the best birthday present he could ever ask for! (So, I don't need to buy him any pressie! YAY! Perangai kedekut nak mampz. Heh! Anyways, his birthday present would still be given. Just not today. Heee!)

Preparations for today:

1.Clean the house from top to bottom

2. Prepare the items needed to serve to the guests

3. Get ready. Dress nicely.

4. Hyperventilate. (Okay, that one is just me being nervous. HEE!)

Hopefully the discussions would go smoothly, insha Allah ameen!

Anyways, what are the ladies and the gents supposed to do in such a situation?

I know that the gents are supposed to send their representative to the house while they wait somewhere, but for the ladies?

What are your opinions? Or what is your experience?

Please share!!

*twinklez

The Chosen Dulangs Are...

Like mentioned previously, I will update on the chosen dulangs..

So after considerable thinking, I chose these five items!
1. Watch
2. Chocolates
3. Fruit tart
4. Fruits
5. Bunga rampai

Seems pretty simple, right? But, now is the fun yet tedious part...

 The decorations!

So, where is the perfect place to get deco items?

I have one I reaaally wanna go..

It is at:
Sin Hin Chuan Kee Pte Ltd

Head Office
No. 796/798 North Bridge Rd S 198766
Tel: 62988000 Fax: 62965195
Or
Branch Office
No. 200 Jalan Sultan #01-08 Textile Centre S 199018
Tel: 62988622 Fax: 62986068
Or email them at: www.shck.com.sg

Opening Hours
0900 hrs to 1800 hrs on Weekdays & Saturday
Closed on Sunday & Public Holidays

This store is well-known (but only to those who are into handicrafts..) for the deco items that they have, from ribbons to buttons to fabric cloths to.... many, many more! I chanced upon this shop when I was blogsurfing and I could still remember how excited I was when I first stepped into the store.. Macam budak masuk candy shop! Heh! :P

But... the sad thing is just that the store opens from Monday - Saturday,
And with me working 5 1/2 days, it will only be on January 2014 when I can get a chance to visit the shop to get my deco supplies...

Ohh! And guess what? Merisik will be done in two days' time! Time really flies by when you are excited + nervous + stressed! Hee..

Will update more on this nerve-wrecking event!

Till then, have a good advanced weekend, peeps! ;)))

This Fabric, That Material..

Growing up, I never did bother about the different types of fabric/material to make an outfit or what need to be used for a certain purpose or item..

That is, until the preparations for the engagement and wedding is underway.

Finally, I know what is burlap, millinery netting, georgette, chiffon, 'Roberto Cavalli' satin, plus many, many more!

I am truly overwhelmed! *cringes*

So anyways, I do think that all BTBs have to do a thorough research on the different materials. Especially for the wedding outfits, 'cos it would be too HOT if you are wearing something made of a thick material in our tropical weather. :P

Or, if you are more into DIY, do research on the items you need to use and best if you try it out to see if the DIY item actually works!

Now, I feel like a typical auntie choosing the fabric to make Hari Raya outfits, or that 'macam-paham' DIY fanatic! Heh!

*twinkles

Preparation-Mania 1

Soo.. even before the dates of 'merisik' was finalised, my mind was going through 1001 things and I, sort of panic.
Hee.. i was panicking 'cos E insisted to get engaged within two months. And I was thinking of the expenditure.. isit enough?
Alhamdulillah, there is enough plus some, but still, I panic.
Until E had to firmly tell me to calm down and that all will be fine, if we rationalise, discuss, plan and tawakkal.
I panicked at first 'cos honestly I am afraid of what my mum would plan. She usually has the final say in everything and I was afraid that my mum would not agree to the plans I have in mind. (Lagi-lagi, it was because of my mum's insistence that we got engaged.. E and me did not want one, but as usual, mums would usually go, "What would others say, especially my friends and your relatives, when they see the both of you outside together?" Oh, and another thing, I am the eldest, so paham-paham je lah.. hee..)
Okayyy.. Being a Muslim, I know that it is essentially disallowed to go out as a couple alone due to modesty issues, so now, most of our 'dates' are out in the public and usually in a group. And also because of this, is one of the reasons why I accede to the request to get engaged..
Anyways, back to the engagement plans, E and me have finally decided on the number of dulangs - 5!
That is considered on the lower spectrum of extravagance but the headache is still there.. 'Cos I had initially planned 7 dulangs as I recently got to know that for the bride side, they have to give a higher number of dulangs than the groom side, (the reason why, please don't ask me why. The reasons I got just doesn't make sense.. heh.) so when he decided to cut down, I was wondering which dulang to cancel.
Originally, it was supposed to be:
1. A Watch
2. Wallet, Belt, Suspenders
3. Chocolates
4. Fruits
5. Cupcakes
6. Fruit tart
7. Bunga rampai
But now, it has to be changed. *sighs*
I will update in the next post on my final decision, but can someone enlighten me whether is bunga rampai considered as part of the dulang, or not?
Thank you much-much! *^▁^*

*twinklez

It All Began..

A marriage had always been on my mind ever since I had decided that enough was enough.
Enough of the drama had faced once upon a time, and that should I ever meet Mr Right, then I would know what best to do to avoid anymore drama - which is by having a marriage.

Fast forward to now, alhamdulillah, it has been more years than I would like to care since I have found someone whom I deem to be my Mr Right.♥

This relationship has been one heckuva roller coaster ride, and sometimes
I just wish I could press the stop button and get off it, but this relationship is too precious to just give up. :)

But, the serious topic regarding marriage has never been mentioned (apart from the rare, random, playful moments when we imagine how our marriage would be like..) and it was even considered taboo.

'Cos like E said, "I don't wanna promise you something which I might not even be sure of.." That is, until erm.. about a month ago.. 9 November 2013 when the dates for the 'merisik' was confirmed.

The feeling of excitement and fear started to creep in once everything was set out in the open. Excitement 'cos finally, "Aku NAK KAHHWIINN!!" Heh. But fear 'cos.. there is alot to do in only a few months ('cos someone really tk sabar. Nak tunang jugak in 2 months. =P) and I am afraid that the engagement would not be as expected..

Anyways, till here first. Next, insha Allah will post of the engagement preparations! ;)


*twinklez